The Greatest Recovery since Lazarus

Today I offer this translation for those of you who have not learned to speak “cabalese” the international language of Fascists, demagogues and “wannabe dictators” engaged with a cabal.

Rather than bore you with a line by line parse I have boiled the entire State of the Union address down to its essence so that the least politically astute can understand what we were really told last night.

“Even after four years of recovery”…there are no vital signs. That is what should have come through if the speaker spoke English.

The operation was a success…but the patient died. That would be a little too hard for even the least optimistic of us to bear…Unfortunately that is the literal translation.

Stop whining. The economy is doing great…Market’s up, unemployment is down, we’re printing lots of new greenies to spread around, the rich are richer and I’m ten times richer since I got this job…

…Hello big business…earnings are up…now start hiring; I’ve done my part and then some; the rest is up to you. We’ll raise the minimum wage so that all your new employees will participate in the American dream. Tell Congress I said don’t question my answers…

You young healthy Americans stop messing up the grand plan. Everyone sign up for my health care plan and hook your elders and friends too, so I will control the economy and we can write a new Constitution…To save paper we can write it on the back of the obsolete Bill of Rights.

Why am I not treated to a ticker tape parade down Broadway? I’m ending the wars, what’s left of the military is coming home to food stamps, the Muslim Brotherhood reigns supreme in the Middle East and I have single-handedly changed the way wars will be fought for all time to come…they won’t. I have given new meaning to the element of surprise when engaging the enemy…we will withdraw when least expected and declare victory. When the enemy attacks we won’t be there. Lesson learned…if perchance any of our people are left behind when we leave…so be it.

Write this down. Our new policy to deal with enemy combatants…don’t get mad…don’t get even. What we do best is leavin’; they’ll soon get tired of beating a dead horse.

Trust John…Iran will stop building nuclear bombs or else…They haven’t seen a stern finger wagging and tongue lashing…it’s coming…so help me Allah. If you can’t build a bomb in six more months I’ll give you six more. Tell congress not to question y answers.

Israel…we’ve got your back…in case you were looking for it…We also have other parts of your anatomy…now turn your head to the Left and cough…feel better?

As a show of good faith let me pledge to cooperate with Congress 100%. They are a do nothing bunch of tea partiers with no new ideas and I pledge not to pressure them for the next three years. I have a pen and a phone and they trump the Constitution and Bill of Rights and I can write checks with no balances. Tell congress not to question my answers.

Cynical me? Perhaps; but it is what it is…You can’t have all the symptoms of a bad cold and call it a cuticle bruise. He has done every single thing he would have to if his intention is to rule as an Islamic Fascist autocrat. I just connect the dots.

Barak must be removed by any and every means available to us, charged with the crimes he commits and dealt with accordingly.

Our only concern should be the preservation of the Republic and the restoration of the United States of America; that leaves no room for coddling.

Guido

 

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