Mystery Solved!

Barak was cornered like a rat when suddenly the Mounties rode up and Barak begrudgingly accepted a lifeline that bailed his sorry bum out. Only it wasn’t the Mounties…the red jacket had us all fooled…It was the Russian flag, a splash of splendid red waving in the breeze obscured the hammer and sickle for a moment and was somehow mistaken for the iconic RMP jacket….Barak was stunned as he breathed an ungrateful sigh of relief, trying for all he is worth to make us think he has the bull by the horns; all America was in awe…why would Barak’s Nemesis come to his aide in time of crisis? His own party went AWOL, to say nothing of the G20 shun, when Barak’s red line turned pink and then yellow and the world cringed when the lion roared and exposed a toothless oral cavity…still spewing warnings and roaring bravado but alas no fangs were in sight and the audience yawned a pithy “after you, sir…we’re right behind you…excuse me how did you get in line behind us?”.

Putin, shirtless astride his white horse, calmly brought order to the indignant international community and from sea to shining sea on Obama’s turf, head held high, turned to Assad and said, “Bashar give the boys your toys before girly boy Barak has a hissy fit.”

Bashar demurred, briefly. Visions of Mubarak handing over his entire toy chest and Barak’s size 11 moccasin deftly imprinted on his derriere, flashed before his optically correct eyes. “Whatever you say, Czar Putin, as long as you promise to replace them after my coronation.”

“Don’t doubt me comrade, if we don’t save this stumble bum’s career these crafty Americans will replace him with John McPain and we’ll all be blown to smithereens”.

“I have two quarts of Sarin, 20 cubic meters of laughing gas and 57 tablets of rat poison; one for each American state. We deliver faster than Pizza King…no tipping too and free eye exams for early submission, please tell Barak.”

“Tell him yourself. We have Barak’s lunch. Hungry?”

Mystery solved.


P. S.

Barak is huddling with Valerie Plame, John McPain and Lawrence of Arabia (Barak’s alter ego)…Assad is history and the camel he’s riding out of town belongs to the Muslim Brotherhood.

Guido Volante, Author “Treason Among Us: Secrets of the S.E.C.”

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