The Fairytale Republic by Guido

A large multi colored, unidentifiable egg was left on the steps of the Capitol building. It was 2007 and no one had ever seen an egg like this. It was shaped like other eggs, perhaps even prettier than some eggs, but no one could identify the specie and no one knew, or seemed to care, how it got there.


Pretty soon people, especially liberals, began to attribute special powers and qualities to the egg while some people saw the egg as a bad omen and demanded it be removed. Liberals said to wait and withhold judgement…”it is merely an egg and surely means us no harm.” Conservatives were convinced that…”no good could come of this; already it is dividing us and it hasn’t yet begun to hatch.” Some Republicans and even Independents began to weaken…”give it a chance, it is different but perhaps we are due for a change. Look at all the people who never even voted before straining to get a glimpse of the multicolored, unidentifiable, mysterious egg; I think they like it”… Wait I hear a crack! Yes over there on the left there is a crack beginning. Is it a bird? Is it a crocodile? Is it a reptile? None of those things…it might be the first of its kind…a new species…a political animal, half mammal, half cold blooded but plumed; it attempts to stand upright but has a split snakelike tongue.


“We’ve never seen the likes of this before; Let’s make it our president…he will transform us and we will never have to work again…Listen to it speak…it has come to us with prompters and promises, dulcet tones of transparency, brotherly love, a new order…We are not a Christian nation, he is wise…He will make peace by holding his hand on high and bowing to Muslim Princes…Our friends are our enemies and our enemies love us…See his aura…he glows and will surely lead the way…Listen! He has the courage to tell us we have sinned and offended the universe. We must divest ourselves of worldly goods and weapons and notions of grandeur and American eminence. He himself will spread our wealth among the nations of the world and into the wind until we are forgiven and humble in the eyes of our equals and he can look down upon us with pride and satisfaction, knowing that we are indeed transformed.


We will never know from whence he came or who sent him to save us but we shall add his name… no! His name shall replace all that have come before him and told us untruths…that we were self sufficient…when all along all we needed was government cheese; that we were born to self determination, when we now know that edicts and fiats show us the way; that we are self governing when that was the root cause of our problems all along…The multicolored, unidentifiable, mysterious, unique specie we call president has dismissed the Congress…it is true he has had no need for that do nothing body…He alone has the courage to remind us that the Supreme Court is an unelected group of nine old people…what do they know?


The exalted one stands alone…he is in charge…we are nothing without him…our businesses would not exist, our wealth has been stolen from…hold on here…give me a moment to think…our wealth has been stolen from…the poor? …we have too much military presence…he will reduce our might to a manageable size…wait…what if…he has taken our guns and now our military protection? No matter…I guess…the omnificent one will protect us…he is great beyond our wildest imagination…he has a private militia…he alone can crush our military forces…Stop! Our proud military is reduced to bare bones and our magnificent leader has a force that??? He is a good and great leader…he knows what is best for us…we will give him all we earn…and yet he demands more…and more….and more…is there no satisfying this appetite for all the productivity in the land?


Let me understand once more. We are better off in poverty, with an impotent military and bobbing Navy…we best not pray to the God we know lest Islam behead us all and if we terminate our existence early enough our children will have adequate medical attention…Did someone say “all hail the state?” or was that to hell with the state? Why did we not sense from the first that this multicolored, unidentifiable, mysterious egg is a sham…a wizard of Oz? The multicolored egg is…is…simply a rotten egg? How did we not see that an egg cannot appear on our doorstep without lots of help? Is it not clear that someone or something put this egg where we would find it? It is clear now that someone owns this rotten egg and the egg simply does the bidding of… its multicolored, unidentifiable, mysterious owner…


A cabal is a rotten egg…that is what we smell…and it is time to purge the land and stand up for ourselves…What were we thinking? When each of us has an ownership stake in the greatest country on earth…today we will choose our representatives, more carefully I pray, and neither we nor they will ever forget that the leader is We the People.


Never again will we trust a stranger.


Beat the rotten egg and take back our country. End the revolution before it begins!


God Bless America,



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